Once upon a time, blogging was all about putting your feelings on the internet. It was always a release for me as I went through breakups and your average school drama. Somewhere along the way, it became more newsy, and I shared some of my feelings on podcasts... but a blog feels right for this week. I have some feelings to let out.
It's a tough week! I'm losing my two favorite shows of all time. You've been there. You've had your favorite show come to an end... it feels like a breakup. How else are you supposed to spend your time now?! What will happen to your favorite characters?! You can't even stalk them on social media! [Unless you stalk the actor version... and then it feels like your ex has changed, which is equally as weird.]
The two shows: The Ellen Show and This Is Us.
I can already hear and feel some of you saying, "but Ellen is not a good person," so let me address that first.
I've [unfortunately] never met the lady. I have no idea what she's like in real life. When people accuse others of doing wrong, I don't want to discredit them. They feel that way for some valid reason... but I also like to give a little benefit of the doubt. We all have bad days/times in our lives. We all have people that rub us the wrong way or just don't match our energy. There are undoubtedly some people on this planet that would tell their friends I'm a bitch... but I don't think that's part of my true character definition at all. I care a lot about people. I want everyone to be and feel loved, helped, appreciated.. but I can't be that person for the world. Maybe that's like Ellen, too. Maybe it's her people that are a nightmare. Maybe it's both. Maybe she's aware of her bitchy tendencies or her terrible work atmosphere.. maybe she's totally clueless. We haven't worked there, so we don't know. All I know is that most of the producers/"higher ups" have been there for well over ten years, so she's at least treating those closest to her right.
Ellen also, whether directly or indirectly, helps a lot of people and animals. So, I'm gonna go with her being a mostly great person. Moving on.
Sometime in 2006, I started watching my first ever talk show- The Ellen DeGeneres Show, and immediately started taking notes on how she did interviews and made people laugh. From 2006 on, I recorded every single episode of her show. It started on VHS. I'd make sure someone in the house hit record when I was in school or class. Then TiVo helped a sister out... and for the last decade I've kept every episode on the DVR until I made sure I watched it.
You could say that a large part of how I do my shows and interviews is directly influenced by Ellen. Her easy, friendly, jokey interviews are what I think of when I'm talking to someone [and every time I forget that they don't know me like they know her so it never goes as well]. Her games and bits have inspired some of my favorites to play on the air, including the most recent- "Fill In the Blank Secrets." When I tried to do a year of EB be Giftin, it was because I felt like I wasn't giving back on a level I was proud of... an Ellen level. Call me a copycat, but I believe we're all combinations of ourselves + everyone we surround ourselves with. We're all always taking in the people around us [cue a lesson from This Is Us which we'll talk about later].
Another thing Ellen did so well was make us realize the average person is so entertaining to watch or intriguing to learn about, long before we were watching TikTok. Maybe people like Lisa Jarmon, Gladys Hardy, Jeannie, and tWitch have a lot more *special* to be classified as "average," but I bet your coworkers, friends, family members etc do too, if you can help highlight em. Watching Jeannie and tWitch's careers grow on the show and beyond has been a JOY for a dreamer like me.
You see.... every day when I watch, I'm inspired to be a better person, do a better show, and maybe not hate a certain celebrity as much as I think I do. Not everyone has the ability to do these things! So, I admit- it was hard to accept that maybe the whole experience of being at/on The Ellen Show isn't all great... but I believe those haters. I also believe her lovers. There are lots of people who sing her praises and [seemingly] genuinely appreciate her and her surroundings. I still have a love, and I'll miss the vibe the show injects into me every day.
I'm also furious that I never got to go to it... but that's a dream I gave up a long time ago.. even though I tried making some things to get her attention.
Now, it's been hard for me to tell how many people watch This Is Us. A lot of my friends fell off if it, somehow... but it does get some reaction when I post on IG! If you haven't watched it or gave up on it- I don't understand you. You make bad decisions. You should re-evaluate what you do with your time... and probably get some help... in the form of TIU.
It was the first show my now husband and I started watching together from the beginning. [Thank goodness he has such a strong crush on Mandy Moore.. it made it easy.] From that first season, it felt like we were going to a weekly therapy session together. Sure, it's a TV show. It's not real. Their lives are "too easy," or whatever other criticism... but I watched families navigate growth, adoption, racial differences, panic attacks and meltdowns, love and relationships, all things I do or will have to navigate myself.. and they did it all in different ways.
Hell yes I cried, but I also laughed every episode. I took notes on how to react in certain situations, even though I know I'll never have the composure and wit that Beth has, the words Randall has, the patience Rebecca has, or the 100% 24/7 unconditional love Jack has. It felt like I was watching my own future and past, being reminded to appreciate things, forgive things, and prepare for things. Now I'm going to have to rely on my actual, real therapist to help me do these things, I guess.
tl:dr- I'm a girl that likes to feel things... most of all- inspiration. These two shows have inspired me and helped me grow. I'll continue to grow, but because [like This Is Us taught us] you never lose anything... you carry it/them with you in everything you do, for generations to come. I'll miss them.. and will undoubtedly rewatch them.
actual [v edited] photo of me crying watching Ellen tribute tWitch today: